Back from maternity leave

Today is my last day of maternity leave. Chloe is down for her morning nap and I'm trying to process the last 5 months and where it has all gone and all these complicated feelings.

I want to go back to work and I don't. I am only going back part-time for a few months but it still feels like a massive shift is about to happen. Chloe is on a pretty good routine at the moment and just learned to roll over from her back to front. She is more aware, getting stronger and so damn cute. Her little gummy smile when I get her out of her cot in the morning and after naps fills my heart with such joy.

I'm not sleeping particularly well at the moment and it's not necessarily because she wakes up at night. I have a lot of anxiety around sleep at the moment because of how hot it's been in the UK. Somehow despite the broken sleep, I get through the day and have a burst of energy after she goes to bed.

I started anti-depressants for postpartum depression around the 3.5 month mark. This can also cause sleep issues and insomnia but I feel a lot better and have no problem saying without medication I'd be struggling to survive. I've even rediscovered my joy for a few hobbies and am excited to start gardening again and have decided our outdoor space needs an upgrade.

I'm finding a rhythm again, ever so slowly.

When it comes to the web and my career, I feel like I'm coming back at a weird time. AI is wrecking havoc and I continue to be skeptical of how hard it is being pushed. I believe it can be useful and is a tool, but the places where it could have the most impact and be incredibly transformational are not being funded adequately.

I also don't believe it can adequately replace entire roles, and I don't believe we should be expecting 10x the output from workers because AI may be automating some tasks for them. We should not be pushing AI generated code to PRs without reviewing it or having some understanding of what has been generated. I fear there's going to be a lot of slop to clean up.

I've been approached to create a proposal for a new side project. Details TBD but I'm considering moving ahead with it as it ties into Design for Developers.

There's a lot on my mind, but I'm expecting Chloe to wake up any moment so I will eventually share those things on the blog but I will be back from maternity leave tomorrow (June 1) and dipping my toes back into adult life again.

I've enjoyed the level of disconnection from online. My screen time is way down as I try to avoid being on my phone when Chloe is in front of me.

Priorities have shifted. I've shifted. I feel like a completely different person, but I think it'd be strange if I didn't. How can you not grow after the experience of giving birth and motherhood?