The :first-child side project

We arrived back from Seattle on a Tuesday, and I was thankful to be UK side after the most horrific airport experience at SeaTac the previous day, in which nothing went to plan and America's incompetence really shined bright. I actually broke down in the TSA line. Something I have never done before.

I barely made it to the Arsenal match on the following Saturday, feeling wildly fatigued, my experience with jetlag being consistently inconsistent, I just assumed it was jetlag. We stopped at McDonald's on our walk back to the train station and Jhey asked if I wanted chicken nuggets. I made the facial expression and noise for "ugh no thank you, I'm going to be sick."

I packed a bag as we were meant to fly to Dublin the following afternoon for two nights. Except I woke up and cried, "I don't want to go."

And that is when I realized something was amiss. I never turn down a trip. Ever. I woke up from a nap and was like, what if I am indeed pregnant?

So I took a test and there was no lag on those two blue lines. Pregnant.

I don't feel like I fit the stereotypical pregnant woman. I've already felt out of place when trying to find an app to help me through this journey. Baby pink and cutesy fonts led me to uninstalling more than one pregnancy app. I landed on one called Stardust, which overall fit my vibe much better.

I don't agree with reels and posts telling you to keep your pregnancy a secret because what if you miscarry.

We told our immediate families, immediately. I told work a week later because my fatigue and nausea have been brutal so my work schedule has been broken up throughout the day to accomodate the sudden need for a nap. I told my friends a few days after. How can you receive support if no one knows what's going on?

You should do what feels right for you.

Right now, I'm taking things day by day. I'm incapable of going to barre or pilates at the moment. I end up rescheduling my classes because I just don't know how I will feel each day.